I have a fear of heights and it impacts my surf

[BaNZ]

This is possibly impacting my ability to surf bigger waves.

I first noticed this fear a couple of weeks ago when I had to stand up on a ledge to change a lightbulb. It's about 15 drop if I fall. I couldn't even get myself to stand up. My palms were sweating, heart rate was going through the roof. I kept telling myself, this is no big deal as long as I don't lose my balance. I need to conquer the fear and this is about the same height as a big wave. It took me a couple of minutes but I did manage to swap the light bulb and I know it sounds silly, but it felt like a big achievement to me.

Last week I surfed two days with a friend that is a much better surfer than me. He was catching all the steep waves as they break on him. He asked me why I'm not sitting where the wave breaks but always 10-15 feet away on the sideline. On the second day, he said he noticed a few things. He said I'm not catching the super steep waves and I'm being too careful. He said my surfing ability is getting hindered by my mind and I'm a good surfer, if not better than him. He finds it hard to catch the waves that I was able to catch because he said we are too far from the peak. He then asked if I was scared of heights, it kinda clicked and it all makes sense. He kept encouraging me to take every single wave that comes. It turns out to be one of the best surf session I had for years. It wasn't a big day but I went for every wave that came knowing that there is someone watching over me.

I rested for exactly 7 days because I was so tired from it. Yesterday I went surfing when the wave is bigger than my comfort zone around 4-5 feet. I arrived at the surf spot and it was a little windy and messy. I was so close to going to another spot that is smaller. But I kept telling myself I need to conquer this fear. I went in the water and rode some really awesome waves.

I do know now that I have a fear of heights and sharks(everyone knows). When the wave gets bigger, subconsciously my feet start dragging through the water when I paddle on bigger waves. I suspect I'm bracing myself for a nosedive. Instead of paddling for popup, I'm paddling reluctantly as I'm expecting the nose to tip in the water. After 1-2 close call with a nosedive, I decided to let go of my fear. I did not nose dive on those steeper waves. I'm really surprised because in the past, I would've never made it.

I cannot believe how much my mental fear has had an impact on my ability to surf. I made some big progress and I hope that I can keep it up. However I know all it takes is 1 bad wipeout or injury and I'll probably have another surf regression.

[oldmansurfer]

Congratulation on overcoming your fear. Don't get injured LOL. Interesting all the things people go through learning to surf. There are so many variations of learning to surf. A real big eye opener to me was the book "Board" by David Flanagan who has posted here from time to time. So very different. I have suffered from a fear of heights from time to time. This never seems to bother me in the ocean. As a child I hiked a steep trail and found myself frozen against the mountain opposite the trail unable to move. My father had to carry me past that point. Then I started climbing trees just a little bit not very high. Me and the neighborhood kids played a follow the leader game in the trees and one of the guys crossed from one mango tree to the next where branches crossed about 30 feet above the ground and I froze , just couldn't do it. Even with the humiliation of all the other kids doing it. I went back to the same 2 trees when no one was around and climbed up as far as I felt comfortable and did that every day till I crossed over to the other branch. After that I was completely not afraid of heights for a while and did incredibly stupid stunts like crossing between two hotel rooms 28 floors up going both to the room to the side and the one above it. I do not recommend anyone try this but I survived and that was how I lacked a fear of heights when I really should have one. Now I am much more fearful of heights however it still doesn't bother me in the ocean.

[BaNZ]

I don't know if I'll be able to completely overcome the fear of heights. It's not as bad as my sister where she will cry and crawl on the floor if she ever goes on an aerial tram. Research has shown that this can be genetic.

Guess it's as they say, 1 step at a time. I should continue to surf bigger and bigger wave. I'm usually fine surfing a 4 feet face but I'm terrified if I have to take off on one. Especially when you're about to popup and you look down and think that's a really steep drop.

[oldmansurfer]

Being able to gauge what drops you can handle and what you can't is a good skill to have. I make split second decisions with who knows what information but if I haven't been surfing steep drops then I am more conservative till I get a few then I will push it but also I will push it on smaller waves where the consequence of failure is deemed minor to me so I may do a slight air drop but only a few inches or so and making those gives me confidence. I also will do a reentry or floater on takeoff where the waves breaks(crumbles) below me and I can feel the wave catching my board so I pop up and ride the lip/foam to the bottom then try to bottom turn to get back in front of the break. It's not so scary as a late takeoff on a steep wave but it is a later takeoff LOL. I guess I am still a bit of an adrenalin junky because I love late takeoffs but I do worry about them if I haven't done any recently. I do balance exercises at least twice a week, not to mention putting on my socks while standing every day. I guess at my age I should feel like I accomplished something if I can put on my pants without falling down.

[waikikikichan]

However I know all it takes is 1 bad wipeout or injury and I'll probably have another surf regression.

No................. when you have your next bad wipe out ( which will definitely happen ) and SURVIVE, then you will realize it's not as bad as you feared. You will realize what you did wrong and make adjustments. Train and develop your skills to match the timing, power and reaction times you will need for catching and riding steeper quicker take offs.

But of course, if you are in doubt , don't go out.

[BaNZ]

No................. when you have your next bad wipe out ( which will definitely happen ) and SURVIVE, then you will realize it's not as bad as you feared. You will realize what you did wrong and make adjustments. Train and develop your skills to match the timing, power and reaction times you will need for catching and riding steeper quicker take offs.

This reminds me that you said awhile ago that you don't want to train your body to do bad habits. I wipeout usually because I hesitated, instead of just looking at where I want to go and popup, I grab onto the rails and even my feet hooks onto the board because I'm embracing for a wipeout. I look down the wave and go oh xxxxx, this is way too steep. This is stupid, it's like being an alcoholic, you know you shouldn't do that but my body just reacts that way. I've trained my body to react that way and it just becomes normal.

It's like when my friend asked me last week, why are you paddling so far away from the break. I said I can't do turtle roll and he said you've been surfing for 5+ years and you can't turtle roll? It's in your head, you need to get over the mental obstacle.

I'll see how much I can keep pushing myself and I hope I can keep it up. For the past 2 years or so I'm just taking it really easy and surfing what I'm comfortable with waist high size wave. Nothing big and it's always perfectly glassy waves that breaks nicely.

[oldmansurfer]

so surf the waves that you are comfortable in but go for the late takeoffs on those waves. Just move a little deeper into the lineup

[IB_Surfer]

How long you been surfing? I did not head out in anything 6ft or bigger for the longest time, opting to ride whitewash instead. It's survival instinct, nothing wrong with that.

Last big swell had 10ft faces, I pretty much did shoulder drops the whole time, so I still get sketched out easily. Here is a picture of me at Todos Santos, I'm the one way over on the shoulder paddling for the 20 footer, I made that one...but yeah, away from the peak on those big ones