Make Me Laugh

[BoMan]

Everyone has to learn.
Everyone makes mistakes.

You can get mad and pissy about it or you can relax and go with the flow. Why not enjoy the learning process and laugh it off? Surfing is FUN and so is being a kook if you can see the humor!

Do you have a story to make us laugh?

surfer-turtle.jpg (49.84 KiB) Viewed 2243 times

[BoMan]

After getting my longboard, I worked hard to ride down the line. I felt so good about my progress that I invited my wife and my daughter to join me for an afternoon at the beach where I was going to show them "how it's done." They brought a camera and were going to make me look good on Facebook. Well.....

I didn't want to lose their attention so I took off on one of the first waves that came along and it was too big! Feeling very nervous, I botched the popup and fell to my chest. You would think I could at least belly ride and save some dignity. NOPE! I pearled and the wave crushed me from behind.

Afterwards, my daughter said, "Daddy, I didn't know a big board could get that far out of the water."

I showed 'em "how it's done."

[Big H]

I saw a woman on a foamie yesterday....a total passenger, got thrown by the lip....priceless titanic expression....

I keep having sea turtles pop up and scare the bejeezus out of me....last one was about 3 ft across...I feel backwards off my board that I'd been previously perched on in the placid lineup. Left the whole area smelling like seafood (fish market smell) for about 3'min after.

[oldmansurfer]

When I was a young surfer dude I was surfing at Kealia on a day where the end of the maneuverable part of the wave was right on the shoreline. I was getting a lot of waves that went right to the shore and caught this one wave that went to the shore I noticed a group of young women watching me and pointing at me as I rode along. I rode that wave right to the beach and thought I would go strike up a conversation with those women. I was normally a shy guy but I figured they were thinking I was a great surfer so they would have some interest in me. I was walking up to them and noticed they were pointing again at me and smiling and as I got closer and closer to them it became apparent they weren't looking at my face but a couple feet or so below it, so I looked down and saw my surf shorts fly was open and my "package" was getting some sunshine and fresh air. I probably turned 50 shares of red and quickly turned around and went back surfing till the young women left.

[RinkyDink]

I got closer and closer to them it became apparent they weren't looking at my face but a couple feet or so below it, so I looked down and saw my surf shorts fly was open and my "package" was getting some sunshine and fresh air. I probably turned 50 shares of red and quickly turned around and went back surfing till the young women left.

You know, you gotta ask yourself what a true big wave charger would have done in that situation. I think they would just run with it and focus on getting pitted.

[oldmansurfer]

I don't advise you go surfing when under the influence but I did on one occasion. I was drinking beer with a friend and we were soused and came up with the bright idea to go surfing. We went out at Kealia beach which was the usual spot for me at the time. It was stormy with waves faces about 10 feet big enough to be fun but not big enough to be scary. This was before the days of board leashes and I was surfing a right that ended in a closeout section. One of the things I did before board surfing was swimming on the swim team and we practiced diving also so I would ride the wave to the closeout then turn to the top of the wave and do a forward one and a half somersault from the top of the wave. Now I did this only when my friend was there to see it so he was in the impact zone and I did this in front of him. After I did a couple of them he begged me to stop because "You have to stop doing that. I am going to drown. I laughed so much when you did it I almost drowned. Please stop." I laughed and said I would try a back flip and he was like "NOOOO! Don't you hear me?? I am going to drown." I was like "Seriously?" He said "Yes Seriously." LOL well so I quit. I have a feeling he was drunker than me so I told him we should go in.

[BoMan]

I was drinking beer with a friend and we were soused and came up with the bright idea to go surfing.

Yikes. Don't get me started on drinking stories...OK....just one!

I took a spring break surf trip with my college buddies and being broke we decided to camp on the beach. After a fun day in the water we found a party with a funky local band and an open keg. We danced and made sure there there was nothing left of the Michelob or our brain cells. And then it got interesting. We stumbled back to the beach, couldn't find our camp in the dark and decided to crash in the sand. Just before sunrise, the tide came in and flooded everything to the sea wall!

[IanCaio]

I recall a few weeks ago, maybe a little over a month, I went surfing. It was 2ft-3ft hawaiian, but the paddle out didn't look too hard. So there I went, paddling a few meters away from a friend, until my trunks button poped open right on the break zone, it was almost on my knees when I noticed it!
I wish I could see it from someone else's eye, but I dropped my board and started trying to close my shorts, and it probably looked like I was drowning .
After taking 2 or 3 waves on my head looking like an idiot, I could close my trunks and finish my paddle out.

From this day on I classify my trunks by surf size: "It's 3ft solid out there, maybe better not use this one.."

[oldgrom22]

Got a couple for you from my newb/beginner days.

First time going out by myself(3-4 times in the water with friends previously) and I'm at Bolsa, its summer time, 1-3 ft sunny and warm. I first try to park in the area around the jetty but the lots are crowded, so I venture to the other end of the beach where there are more available spots. I pull up check out the waves for a few minutes and then go change, put on sunscreen, do a light warmup and start making my way to the water(going over my mental checklist of what I'm going to practice that day). As I'm slowly making my way to shore, walking between groups of people on the sand, I hear a voice, "excuse me....excuse me sir?!" I start looking around to see who's talking. It's the lifeguard and he's staring directly at me. "See that flag up there(points up to the "yellow" flag on top of the tower), it means you can't surf here." Dejected and embarassed, I made the walk of shame back to my car and got in, fully suited up, and had to go back to the other end of the beach to look for parking.

Another time, I went out for a mid-week PM sesh at Sano after work. I get to the lot, change, grab my board and make my way out to the lineup. I notice it's already starting to get dark(even though there is at least another 1.5-2hrs of sunlight still left) and everyone I pass or paddle next to is staring at me. I shrug it off and paddle to the outside to wait for the sets and realize I have my sunglasses on, full on "hollywood" in the lineup......I tried to play it off like I meant to bring them out, but ended up paddling in after about 15mins to put them away.

Saving the best for last, I was out at Bolsa again and just started moving from whitewater to trying to catch "green" waves out back. It was a smaller day, low tide and the waves were breaking close to shore. I had been in the water for about 30 mins trying to catch waves out back with no luck, so I moved to the inside to catch some whitewater. Caught a couple and started having fun(back then, it was pure stoke to even catch a wave and glide for a split second). Decide, i'm going to be a "cool" guy and try riding one all the way in to shore and jump off like I saw in youtube vids. Well, I catch one and start riding straight to shore in my best "surfer" stance. I think I'm going along ok until I snag my fin in the sand, get thrown over the nose and proceed to barrel roll right onto the sand. Worse part, I bailed right in front of a group of people casually walking along the shore and let out one of those loud grunts you make when you get the wind knocked out of you. I just laughed it off when they asked if I was ok, and paddled back out(ears burning red from embarassment, no damage other than my pride).

[oldmansurfer]

When I got out of college I used to surf with my wife. We would both surf the same beach but maybe slightly different breaks. I would be looking for the fast challenging waves and she would be looking to cruise. One day she wipes out about inside of me and close to the shoreline but spears her leg with a fin. She is screaming for help so I go help her in getting her and her board and me and my board up on the beach. We were about 50 yards from the parking lot and she said she couldn't walk well she could but she bled all over the place if she did so I figure she is ONLY 100 pounds and it's ONLY 50 yards to the parking lot. What I didn't figure is that I had been in Colorado in school for the last 4 years and was in really poor shape.

So I picked her up and started carrying her leaving the boards behind. She wasn't too heavy....at least for the first half of the way. I started thinking "oh my gosh, I am going to have to put her down". Then I would give myself a pep talk "you're half way there....you can do it!" I convinced myself that if I put her down it would be much harder to pick her back up again and became determined to get there in one trip. I could see the car and I told myself "It's just 20 more yards, you've made it this far...it's just a bit more" Then my wife says "Are you OK?" I guess probably because my veins in my face and neck were bulging and my face turning red. That made me worry but I dug deeper and told myself "it's just 10 more yards" Then this guy comes running up to me and says "Oh NO!!!! Are you going to be ok?" I answered "It's just 10 more yards, I think I can make it." He says "Not you....HER!" I put her down at the car and I am so winded I can't even answer him. I am gasping for air like an asthmatic cow, bellowing huge gasps as I try to get oxygen to my brain. "Is there anything I can do?" he asks. I just continue to gasp for air unable to speak. "Should I go get your boards?" I look down the beach at the boards and nod my head still couldn't speak tried to say "yeah" don't know if he could understand it but he went and got the boards. By the time he came back I was able to thank him and reassure him my wife just had a minor wound and would be fine.

[Tudeo]

My very first surfing experience was at La Grande Plage at Biarritz on a super small shortboard a friend brought to impress the girls with.
I jumped in and started paddling like crazy to get to the line up. After a good time of paddling, I was in top condition at age 28, I got tired and looked behind me to see the distance I covered. I found my feet were still at the beach..

[BoMan]

My favorite childhood companion was a black labrador retriever. "Bonnie" was always stoked on family trips to the coast. She would bound up and down the beach, bark at the foam, cover herself with sticky sand and shake at our feet. She loved to swim no matter how cold it was and had no fear of the ocean. When I paddled a mat with my friends, she plowed through the breaking waves and let us grab her tail for a ride to shore.

Bonnie made every day better, especially when she was a kook. One day I threw a stick into the ocean and watched as she swam around... Around...and AROUND... trying to find it. I almost gave up when she chomped into the water and started swimming back. I looked away to talk with my buddies and then she scared us to death. Bonnie dropped a MONSTER at our feet. OK, it was a wad of kelp but when you're 8 years old, it's a monster.

[Big H]

First time getting thrown by the lip is always a good story....no need to share; quiet reflection on that moment when you first found out that a wave could actually throw you and how quick right side up became upside down - repeat - repeat - repeat.......

[BoMan]

2 Mile Surf Shop's report for the day...

CHANNEL: Binky hears and repeats the mantra of the week. "No."

http://2milesurfshop.blogspot.com/

[IanCaio]

Bonnie dropped a MONSTER

When I first read it I imagined your dog dropping a huge wave and surfing back to the shore with the stick!
Side effects of waking up too early maybe!

[waikikikichan]

So the other day I was at Waikiki. Heard some people behind me talking:
" I used short board all the time, but not anymore "
"Why ?"
" Cuz now I'd rather longboard and even if I had the chance I wouldn't ever ride short board again ever"
"How come"
"Short boarding messes up my long boarding.
Even leashes mess up my long boarding, that's why I don't wear them"

I turned around to look who was talking. It was a Eleven year old tiny little girl.

[BoMan]

Norcal is like this today...without the sun.

[BoMan]

BoManSkate.jpg (261.46 KiB) Viewed 2217 times

65 today so my wife let me skate!

[dtc]

BoMa, looking good.

I have no funny stories and work in a very unfunny environment, so I'll outsource. If you havent seen the kook of the day instagram account, its pretty funny

http://www.theinertia.com/surf/13-of-th ... ?pid=25534

and one that we may all remember

https://www.instagram.com/p/BByRYQWMkce ... of_the_day

[BoMan]

I'm guilty!