Well as you already mentioned good night life and crowds tend to go hand in hand. Sydney has loads of spots and there's great surf all along the East coast up until Frasier Island in Queensland, North from there there is no surf as the Barrier Reef blocks it. You wouldn't want to anyway as it's home to deadly jellyfish and saltwater crocs.
Melbourne has no surf itself nor does Brisbane. Both have great surf within an hour or two driving. Perth has surf beaches but they don't get much swell due to outer islands so it's not a really a surfing destination.
Good surf and night life would have to be Sydney, Byron Bay, the Gold Coast and to a lesser extent Noosa on the Sunshine coast but all the big name breaks will be crowded. There is still relatively uncrowded surf at these locations if you don't want to surf the big name breaks just get in the car and head up the road a little.
For Sydney the further North or South you go, the lesser the crowds, but you'll want a car. Byron Bay has uncrowded surf North of Main Beach, also at Tallows, and in the little bays further south but maybe not good for a beginner as these are unpatrolled beaches. That'll be the case for most uncrowded spots. Gold Coast is going to be bedlam at most places especially the point breaks there are lots of fun spots South of Coolangatta on the NSW side of the border.
Noosa and Sunshine coast are a bit more fickle. The Noosa points need a big hurricane swell to get going and they are swamped with longboarders so hard to get a wave on a shortie, Sunshine, Alexandria (sp?) and other east facing places beaches have a lot of fun beach set ups.
There are heaps of great spots in all the little localities along the East coast but very little night life, but you can score world class uncrowded surf if you are in the right place at the right time. The other option is take the night life with you and join a surfing tour bus.
Just get a surfing guide book, there are quite a few for Australia it'll have all you'll need.
This one, in my opinion, is the best one as the maps show exactly where the break is and it fits in your pocket:http://www.mesurf.com.au/ProductDetail. ... -australia
This one isn't bad either:http://www.amazon.com/Surfing-Australia ... 812&sr=8-2