So Dec you want a little porn for a solo saturday night sesh , no need to be ashamed my man Why not sack limewire cos its pants and download emule here emule-project.net/home/perl/general.cgi?l=1 this should work!!
If you are using a router to connect to the internet, and it is UPnP enabled, you should choose Use UPnP. If you are having problems connecting with your router, or if your router does not use UPnP, it may be necessary to set up your router for port forwarding. In that case, you should select Manual Port Forward.
bin limerwire and get a decent client for torrents or get soulseek, these will open the ports automatically if you can do upnp (which most modern routers can), otherwise you need to log in to your router (using your regular web browser-ie or firefox etc.) and you can configure it manually.
Also check if windows firewall (or any other firewall) is running and if it is stop it. you dont need a firewall if your using a router anyway.