"Slacks with elasticated waistband, just £19.99 for two pairs!
And look on page 49 for cardigans which will match perfectly!
Just send a cheque made out to 'ThoseNaffCataloguesYouGetWithSundayNewspapers' and receive some free bonus slippers! (While stocks last)"
(God knows what Im doing on this thread. You can tell there isnt much going on on a saturday morning)