Hi... first time user here. Cocoa Beach, Florida.
Thought I'd open with a segment of "Passages from the Surfer's Bible," a humorous take on surfing filtered through the Holy Book...
from Exodus 7:17-11:9 (The Plagues)
I: Red tide: “I will strike the water, and it shall be turned to blood. The fish shall die, the sea itself shall stink, and the throats and eyes of the surfers shall burn as with fire.”
II: Medusas: “The ocean shall swarm with jellyfish, and they shall froth and writhe upon all your people.”
III: Lice: “And all seaweed of the seas shall become infested with lice.”
IV: Kooks: “I shall send swarms of kooks upon you, upon your secret spots, so that they shall form an unbroken line across the beach.”
V: Sewage: “A deadly pestilence shall leak out from the bowels of the cities, and contaminate all the seas.”
VI: Fat, Pasty Children in Rubber Rings: “And great hordes of fat, pasty children in rubber rings shall float in the shorebreak and be pitted deep into every high tide barrel.”
VII: Onshores: “And the seas shall foment, and the onshore winds shall batter the coast day and night without respite.”
VIII: Hammerheads: “And I will bring blunt-headed sharks into your country. They shall fill the sea and devour the last remnant left of you in the water after the onshores.”
IX: Boils: “And I will make the sun to burn your flesh, so that boils come up on the surface of your skin.
X: The Final Plague: “And finally, I shall groom the waters, and blow the winds favorably, so that you shall be tempted out. And thenceforth I shall bring upon you sweepers, great hordes of sweepers, like a forest upon the surface of the sea.”
Here's the rest of the article: